Monday, August 5, 2013

Oh! The lure of a new self help book

So, I held in my hands a little while ago a new self help book.  It was sent to me as part of some pre-work for an upcoming mini-conference.  As I read the back cover and the preface, I was suddenly aware of some distinct feelings washing over me.  Anticipation, hope, a feeling that maybe this time it will be different.    Maybe this time it will 'take'.

What is that?!  I almost felt like I was about to go on a second date with someone.  Doesn't that strike you as screwed up?  Isn't that totally coming at life from a perspective that says I'm damaged goods?    I don't know.  It was a really strong feeling and I was acutely aware of the fact that I own quite a number of these kinds of books.  All of which I remember feeling that same feeling and now they sit on a shelf... some of them read, most half read... a few I never did read.

To paraphrase a question from a favorite poem of mine... How might your life have been different?  What if you had a place to belong... unconditionally loved and supported by a gathering of women.

For me, I might not feel like I came from the mark down rack... like if I just took the right class, read the right self help book... I could figure it all out and be enough.

How might your life have been different?