tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-69470584947185344242024-03-05T05:48:37.366-08:00Beautiful You... a place to be, become and belongLive Beautiful Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02707270418080104109noreply@blogger.comBlogger54125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6947058494718534424.post-5449491721195026682018-01-13T20:25:00.000-08:002018-01-13T20:25:28.051-08:00Daring, rising, embodying, shining, being seen... I am a self-help frequent flyer<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">I don't know if any one out there can relate, but I'm a self-help afficianado (some might say junkie). </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">If I were to look in the download folder on my computer, I would see that I have numerous unfinished self-paced, 'discover/accept/become' yourself online classes from a variety of very wise women downloaded there. I always start with the best intentions. I experience a surge of excitement as I enter my credit card number, declare my intentions far and wide. I leap in whole heartedly with both feet, I introduce myself in the closed Facebook group, and then, Here's what always happens next. I get behind, then more behind, and then I exit the FB group or turn off the notifications because it hurts my heart that I have failed myself again. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">For years, I have longed to belong, to fit in, to connect on a deeper level with other women. And as much as I longed for it, I was also afraid of it. And then I went to my first women's retreat and I sat in that sacred circle and something magical happened. I was seen. I was understood. I was honored. Grace was extended in every direction. When I looked around the circle I found women who did not need me to explain my feelings, or to apologize for them. And this experience has happened again and again in many circles, many retreat experiences. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">So, I've asked myself what the difference is, why an online class or group doesn't 'work' for me and a circle of women does? By all accounts, as an introvert, sitting at home in my jammies doing 'the work' should be just exactly my cup of tea. It surprised me at first, as it does many women, but there's an unexpected safety in the circle. In fact, we faciltiators work very hard to create that feeling of safety and it's one of the things that is most remarked on in retreat evaluations.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Once I experienced it, I was smitten. Connection, belonging... they are very powerful feelings and I now look for every opportunity can make happen for myself to sit in circle and experience it again. I stared facilitating women's rereats so that I could help make that happen for other women. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">My wish for you in this brand new year... I hope that you find connection and belonging in whatever way works for you. It's important and you deserve it. If you have thought that a women's retreat is not your cup of tea, I want to encourage you to do some research and find one you might let yourself lean into. Here's to leaning in. Join the circle. Have some fun. Feel the love. #circlefunlove</span></span>Timaleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07492797595154248531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6947058494718534424.post-9309391941306600102018-01-01T11:44:00.002-08:002018-01-01T11:44:46.088-08:00It's okay not to feel okay. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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My super smart friend <a href="https://www.instagram.com/lavichimata/" target="_blank">Lavi Chimata</a> reminded me of that the other day. It's important, so I'll say it again...<b><i> It's okay not to feel okay</i></b>.<br />
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I've been grappling with feeling out of step for the last few months. I'm trying to unravel it and figure out where it's coming from. It's my belief that when the blues come calling its best to invite them in to sit next to me on the sofa and make friends before I can move on. I think I've caught the end of the thread and here's what's coming up for me. Maybe you feel it too. <br />
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"The Holidays" start in earnest at the beginning of November, though all the trappings are out and in your face in September. For months now, my social streams have been full practically perfect holiday preparations. My husband and son would rather skip all things holidays, so if there's any holiday magic to happen around here, it's up to me to make it happen. Between PTO and an office closure, I have luxurated in almost three weeks off of work. I'm a huge Hallmark Channel Christmas movie junkie and I've got a DVR full of them and plenty of time to watch them. More perfection. Lots of it... romantic perfection, holiday perfection, functional families. And now, there's a flood of New Year posts with proclamations that people are so excited about the possibilities of the new year. A blank slate. 365 new days. I'm so not there. I am SO not there. I was feeling like such a failure that I couldn't shake it off, that I'm not seeing what everyone else is seeing as they look ahead to 2018.<br />
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And then Lavi reminded me that it's okay not to feel okay. Whatever the reason. It's so important, for us to love ourselves, be gentle and caretake for ourselves when we're not feeling okay. If you're struggling I invite you to really take it in that <i>it's okay not to feel okay</i>. Get quiet and ask yourself what it is that you need right now. Then, do all that you can to make that happen. Showing up for yourself is one of the most powerful things you can do. That's my first step in the new year... to show up for myself. Care to join me? <br />
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<br />Live Beautiful Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02707270418080104109noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6947058494718534424.post-4975639744808146112017-07-14T14:15:00.000-07:002017-07-14T14:15:05.677-07:00Can you put a price on comfort and dignity?The answer turns out to be YES actually. I experienced it last week. <br />
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Most of us have noticed that in an ever increasing quest for more profitability, airlines have made many changes which leave most travelers longing for the good ol' days of air travel that was more comfortable, more dignified. For those who are flying while fat... airline travel these days is a whole new level of uncomfortable and undignified. <br />
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I love to travel and have had many trips to far off places. I used to be filled with a sense of excitement and adventure. These days, when I'm planning air travel, I'm filled instead with a sense of dread about the on board experience. With each trip, more and more is out of the passengers control. Recently, airlines have begun to move to a 'basic economy' fare. Many in the traveling public probably have not even noticed this shift yet because of that sneaky name. What it means in general is that you don't get a seat assignment until you get to the boarding gate, and once assigned, you have no right/chance to change it or upgrade whatsoever. Also, you are only allowed 1 carry on item (as opposed to a purse + carry on). Hello middle seat.<br />
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Last week I flew to a speaking engagement out of state. The company hosting me paid for my flight (in coach). When I was booking, I realized that for just $300 more, I could fly in both directions in first class. I did a little math and quickly jumped at the opportunity. Delta was offering $100 off if I applied for a credit card- which I did... so now my cost was down to $200 extra. With the first class ticket, I got 2 free checked bags, which was a $75 value in each direction- so $150 total making the actual cost of my upgrade just $50 for this round trip. <br />
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Here's the other goodies that I got for that money:<br />
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<li>2 carry ons- personal plus 1 extra</li>
<li>priority boarding</li>
<li>actual courtesy from flight crew</li>
<li>checked bags first off plane and into baggage claim</li>
<li>a beverage of my choice (including adult beverages) during boarding</li>
<li>unlimited beverages of my choice during flight (in a real glass)</li>
<li>snack basket passed several times (cookies, granola bars, fresh fruit, nuts)</li>
<li>blanket and pillow</li>
<li>leg room</li>
<li>elbow room</li>
<li>longer seat belt</li>
<li>no dirty looks from my seatmates because they feel crowded</li>
<li>armrest space for both my seatmate AND I</li>
<li>entire flight time with my arms at my sides and not crossed over my chest the whole way</li>
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So, what do you think? Well worth the $50 extra? My answer is a wholehearted YES. </div>
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We shouldn't have to pay extra for comfort and dignity, but the airlines are not going to move backward in time to bigger seats, genuine care and courtesy for all. And given that... I will work to be a more strategic traveler and look for these deals in the future because I have glimpsed that luxury and don't really want to go back.</div>
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Travel smart my friends. </div>
Live Beautiful Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02707270418080104109noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6947058494718534424.post-18079866510182999352017-03-15T19:11:00.000-07:002017-03-15T19:11:56.304-07:00The power and beauty in saying YESYes, I will. Yes, I can. Yes.<br />
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I've been conducting a little experiment with myself in the last few weeks. It's a challenge for me because I am an introvert by nature. 'Yes' is not my default I weigh carefully how long it will take me to recover from any instances of 'putting myself out there' and whether the circumstances in my week allow time and space for that recovery <br />
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Some fantastic (and frankly fantastical) things have come out of the experiment. For example, being interviewed as a <a href="http://tucson.com/thisistucson/tucsonlife/she-s-an-entrepreneur-professional-girl-scout-and-badass-woman/article_3c7bd640-feb3-11e6-b43d-6fa59f7b2448.html" target="_blank">'Badass Woman of Tucson</a>'. I have a pretty healthy self esteem, but I never saw that coming.<br />
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As it turns out, saying yes is more than just a short term experiment for me. The truth is, even though 'yes' is not my default... when I reflect on the many adventures I had in my life, they all began because I said yes to something that was out of my comfort zone. Lately, somehow I have been a little stingy with my yes. Hence my experiment to re-open myself to all the joyful possibilities of life. <br />
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Today this video was shared in my Facebook feed by a friend. If you've got 6 minutes, I've guarantee that it will inspire and open you to the power and beauty that comes when you say yes. Let me introduce you to the girls and women of Camp Fury. This is one of the Girl Scout programs of which I am most proud. This camp is led by the elite women in public service in our community. Girls from all walks of life come together. By the end of the week, the differences between them have completely disappeared. In the video you'll see beautiful examples of saying 'yes, I can' and of sistering. Let me share two examples from when I have visited camp that left me in tears.<br />
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One sweltering day, I was sitting in the shade of a fire truck watching the girls rappel on challenge day and I became aware of a small voice above me. A girl was climbing the fire truck ladder as depicted in this video and she was saying 'I can't do this', 'I'm afraid' with every step she took. Every single step. 'I can't do it'. Step. 'I'm afraid'. Another step. Over and over. She 'I can't'ed' herself all the way out to the end of that ladder. She said yes, and she did it anyway. <br />
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And beautiful Kaylene- watch the video and you'll see her at the top of the wall preparing to rappel down. She was terrified, and she said yes. By the time she got to the bottom of the wall, all her squad mates (who had been at the top cheering her on), had run down 6 flights of steps to the bottom to receive her there. You'll see that in the video too. They completely surrounded her in a hug and they all stood there shaking and sobbing for about 4 minutes straight, never letting Kaylene go. All of them crying. And I sat there sobbing as I watched. <br />
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What in your life has been waiting for you to say yes? Won't you take a page from these inspiring girls and do it. Say yes. Say yes to yourself and open to the possibilities that all of life has to offer you. Beautiful things are meant for you. Surprising things are meant for you. Good things are meant for you. Say yes.Live Beautiful Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02707270418080104109noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6947058494718534424.post-64792277926310418952017-03-03T10:38:00.001-08:002017-03-03T10:38:50.545-08:00<div class="MsoNormal">
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<i style="font-weight: normal;">Hi friends- please meet my guest blogger and my new friend, Holli Clausen Zehring... I think you'll love her as much as I already do!</i></h4>
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I want to offer our community an invitation...</h2>
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An invitation to not only find peace with your own body and
self, but to find a way of living that provides a good model for our children,
especially our young girls.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The path to this moment, to this opportunity to come
together and engage in new conversations about health, beauty, and body image
has been a long one, rooted in my own experiences and the organizations that
have grown from them. <o:p></o:p></div>
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My mom will tell you that my own story is what planted the
seed for Ophelia’s Place. I was diagnosed with an eating disorder when I was
17. The eating disorder had taken over
my life and left me zero understanding of who I was. My parents found an
intensive program here in Arizona, and where I spent 4 1/2 months working on my
nutrition, my view of who I am, my identity, and my family dynamics.<o:p></o:p></div>
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It was an incredible time of healing and it radically
changed not only me, but my relationship with my mom. As we worked on the
environment I was raised in, I talked about my mom and the relationship she had
with her body and with food. I talked about all her food rules, like “If you
eat standing up you lose weight,” or “Girl Scout cookies don’t count because
it’s for a charity.” I thought it was
funny and completely normal. Turns out it may be normal, but it wasn’t funny. <o:p></o:p></div>
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When I told my mom, she was the topic of my therapy that day
she was completely blown away and realized that maybe she also needed to look
at how she talked about herself and her diet, and what she modeled for me. It
was her “aha” moment. I don’t say any of this to place blame or to shame. It
was considered “normal” in my family, like it is for so many other families
today.<o:p></o:p></div>
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My mom was my biggest role model. As a child, I loved
watching her get ready for work. I was in awe of her. I looked at her and saw
strength, intelligence, and beauty. She saw cellulite, extra pounds, and
wrinkles. None of those things real or imagined made any difference to me, it
didn’t take away from who she was, but maybe obsessing about it did.<o:p></o:p></div>
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When I got home from treatment, my eating disorder got bad
again. My behaviors came back quickly and my mom, concerned, asked me what was
going on. I told her I need a place to be safe, to be heard, and to practice
recovery in a inspiring and encouraging space. From that conversation, my mom,
MaryEllen, founded Ophelia’s Place. For the last 15 years, they have been
working tirelessly to redefine beauty in individuals, families, and communities
impacted by eating disorders, disordered eating and body dissatisfaction. <o:p></o:p></div>
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When I was 19 I moved to Arizona and admired the work of
Ophelia’s Place from afar. It was my dream to recreate it here. I got married,
had 2 children, and saw my husband through medical school, while battling
significant depression. As time passed my dream felt further and further away. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Yet, all those pieces actually brought me closer to it.
Through these hardships, I continued to see the need. Women frantically working
to change their bodies as if they were broken, so much talk about food and
weight loss, and diets, and trendy workouts, all the while they were seeking
something deeper. I started working on this about 2 years ago. We gathered
women around a table, shared a delicious meal and asked “Do you see a need here
for a new conversation about health, beauty, and body image?” There was a
resounding YES! Every event since then has been filled with tears and pain, but
also hope, choices, and transformations. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Hopefully, my daughter, Anna, won’t walk the same path that
I did. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Already she demonstrates a great understanding of her body
and ownership of the amazing things it can do. When she hears the kind of
negative conversations about weight and body image, she finds them unusual
enough to check in with me to explore their validity. She’s living what she
learns at home.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Join us. Join us in a new conversation. Join us to define
beauty on your terms. Join us to better understand what health means, based on
your own body's needs. Join us to come back to who you are, instead of fighting
for who you are told to be. Discover your gifts, discover your passions, your purpose.
Because the world needs you, in your whole beautiful self.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Holli Clausen Zehring</div>
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You can find out more about the <a href="http://www.circlesofchange.org/" target="_blank">Circles of Change</a> Conference in Phoenix March 17-18th, 2017 and get registered <a href="http://www.circlesofchange.org/conference" target="_blank">here!</a> I hope to see you there!</h3>
Live Beautiful Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02707270418080104109noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6947058494718534424.post-82284929020887689532017-02-17T12:45:00.001-08:002017-02-17T12:45:17.062-08:00Oh, I could never spend that much money on myself. Or could I?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Part of the experience of preparing for a women's retreat as a facilitator is to begin early on to prepare space metaphorically for the women who will come. It's making them welcome and preparing the circle for them before they even know they're coming. It's part of what goes into the end result where women say "I can't believe how comfortable I felt right away" or "I can't believe I just met these women".<br />
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So, right now- 3 months before our Soul Restoration retreat in Tubac, I'm doing that work. I'm putting a call out there to you, calling you to the circle. I don't know who you are, but I am calling. The women who are supposed to hear the call and are ready to respond will do it. Ask yourself if you hear something whispering at you. Whispering that your joy has been a little dimmed lately. Whispering that there has to be more to life. Whispering that you've lost sight of who you used to be. <br />
There are always obstacles. "I can't leave my work, family, kids, furry kids." "I could never spend that much money on myself." "I would feel so guilty." These things never go away. There's probably never a convenient time to check out of your life and spend a long weekend lovingly attending to yourself. Convenient? Maybe not. Urgent? Probably! You make time for everyone else. Anyone who has ever been to a retreat will tell you that you will be 1,000 x better prepared to make time for and care for everyone else after you return from a retreat. It's not a secret. Ask your girlfriends to see who has been to one. Ask them if they're sorry they went. Ask them if it was worth every penny.<br />
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Our Soul Restoration retreat is all inclusive. From the moment you park your car at Kenyon Ranch, you will be taken care of. Do you even remember what that feels like? Being taken care of? There's a warm hug awaiting you if you are open to one. You'll be shown to your cozy casita where there are fresh flowers on the bedside table and goodies waiting for you. There's time for a walk before dinner. Perhaps you'd like to sit on the porch and do some journaling instead or rest your eyes while you lay in the hammock. Dinner is family style in the ranch house. Food is lovingly prepared and will nourish your soul as much as it does your body. In the evening we'll meet in the lodge to begin to know each other and start our course. Chilly? Let us get you a cozy blanket. Have a headache or a tummy ache? We're prepared for that and can get you something to help. We'll finish our evening in the art room working on a little piece of wearable heart art. The next days are filled with soul work, sharing, singing, making art that fills us up. You'll be gently guided in all that we do. And don't worry that we'll be keeping you busy non-stop... we've built in down time as well. You might choose to have a swim or a soak in the hot tub. Perhaps you might like to take a walk on the labyrinth in the moonlight. It's a magical experience. Whether you are an introvert or extrovert, whether you make friends easily or not, you'll love the women assembled. I've done this dozens of times and I've never seen it work out any differently. That's a pretty good basic description of the experience but doesn't even begin to describe the amazing Soul Restoration Course itself nor the incredible location.<br />
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There's no physical thing I could buy with my money that does all that for me. No bag, or manicure brings me the same feelings. Retreats can be expensive. Although it may be more than you're used to spending on yourself at one time, this one, at $1,100 is in fact, a bargain. Even more so if you take advantage of early registration discounts. Your shared accommodations for all three nights are included. Eight meals, all snacks and beverages are included. The art materials, supplies and instruction are all included. Your beautiful materials for Soul Restoration are all included. Unlike some conferences and other personal growth experiences, you won't be hit up to purchase anything, no DVD's, no personal coaching sessions etc. <br />
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What's whispering at you friend? Why not answer the call and let's see.<br />
<br />
Join the circle. Have some fun. Feel the love. #circlefunloveLive Beautiful Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02707270418080104109noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6947058494718534424.post-61568563540386742312017-02-10T15:28:00.002-08:002017-02-10T15:28:39.068-08:00Emergency Action Guides and Rough Day Books<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4Kt5PJ2oCiE1GBxRAusvHXrqBSoMBf-ukELZ1ZyTFeMLzYFNGI0VWvdI-mHijpJxPAPAAa5nf135MPUjo6AFtuUy0DGSD3KC1eDwAJW-4kDn9NjRm7QzOKTyvFHQYML4QCI4NroQZrjI/s1600/IMG_0323.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4Kt5PJ2oCiE1GBxRAusvHXrqBSoMBf-ukELZ1ZyTFeMLzYFNGI0VWvdI-mHijpJxPAPAAa5nf135MPUjo6AFtuUy0DGSD3KC1eDwAJW-4kDn9NjRm7QzOKTyvFHQYML4QCI4NroQZrjI/s320/IMG_0323.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
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I had the pleasure of spending a little time today at Discount Tire. While the good folks got me all fixed up with a new tire, I happened to notice this large flip guide on the wall. It reminded me so much of the Brave Girls Club tool we create called a Rough Day Book. <br />
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No matter how much 'work' we do on ourselves, how purposeful our lives... the rough days ARE going to come. And when they come, it's best to have a personal action plan to guide us in how to best survive them.<br />
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The pages contained in my Rough Day book aren't really laid out like Discount Tires action guide, but I really love it and I think I will start adding some pages with tabs for things like:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>When dealing with a narcissist</li>
<li>When a beloved hurts you </li>
<li>When you disappoint yourself </li>
<li>When the wheels completely come off the train</li>
<li>When you need a time out</li>
</ul>
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If you could use a Rough Day Book as your emergency action guide, there's a class coming up this Thursday, February 16th from 6-9pm. All materials are provided and you'll add your own wisdom to be your guide for when those days happen. You can register <a href="https://www.eventbrite.com/e/rough-day-book-tickets-27370894081" target="_blank">here</a> and use discount code Newyear to get 75% off! </div>
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<br />Live Beautiful Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02707270418080104109noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6947058494718534424.post-28381574685697413042017-02-10T14:58:00.000-08:002017-02-10T14:58:00.395-08:00Fragile... handle with care<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMZYNDFjQXVR4dKKSctvCwSgckQyVmu9IirmQNrN2wTeiZxDjXUuXCZ5P9nVzJcaQwAJcgILSe6vhoCnO3Az1IoSacaakPJ5W7RzIznvekAFXb4e0dp_iG33yphg-jWA2V3H7RcLPETC8/s1600/IMG_0315.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMZYNDFjQXVR4dKKSctvCwSgckQyVmu9IirmQNrN2wTeiZxDjXUuXCZ5P9nVzJcaQwAJcgILSe6vhoCnO3Az1IoSacaakPJ5W7RzIznvekAFXb4e0dp_iG33yphg-jWA2V3H7RcLPETC8/s320/IMG_0315.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
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Wouldn't it be awesome if we had stickers like this to help others understand when we're feeling tender? <br />
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When we are living an authentic life, how we present ourselves in the world is almost like we do have "fragile" stickers on our foreheads. When we are authentic we can let needs be known and that gives our beloveds a chance to support us. Just as we are blessed when we give support to others, they are blessed when we allow others to support us in our times of need. It's a gift really, a gift for both people.<br />
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Such was the case for me this week. The state of our country and the events in my own world had piled up on me like a 5 car wreck all in one day. I let myself be vulnerable and shared on my Facebook wall that I was feeling very thin in my resilience. Soon my cup overflowed with an outpouring of virtual love when I shared that I was struggling. <br />
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And today... today came a heartfelt message from an incredible woman in my circle that made my heart soar. In truth, I've known her since she was a little girl. I'm blessed that we've reconnected as peers now. We all have those people who have really impacted our lives and our growth and she was kind enough today to reach out and tell me that I have been that for her. It brings up such powerful emotions as I read her words that their impact will be felt by me for a long, long time. <br />
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I'm wondering if we can't increase the ripple of this kindness she started today. Won't you take a moment to identify someone in your life who has made a big impact and reach right now to tell them so? I hope you will. The world needs more kindness, don't you agree?<br />
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Join the circle. Have some fun. Feel the love.<br />
#circlefunloveLive Beautiful Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02707270418080104109noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6947058494718534424.post-32693023364368219632016-12-09T11:42:00.001-08:002016-12-09T11:43:21.584-08:00It's hard to be a human<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCKvoBVq-Ouq4IGE4w_l5T9kTNvYMYvIJVUptZif4N8MWzII75S4bLJoo7EbCksi-4AxLRr6CaTBvaf6EtFfUGD2e4udIsF6F0Vcc89XFGAHGZQla5cG2B8NctsplIfdW14LLCrc98hx8/s1600/IMG_9723.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCKvoBVq-Ouq4IGE4w_l5T9kTNvYMYvIJVUptZif4N8MWzII75S4bLJoo7EbCksi-4AxLRr6CaTBvaf6EtFfUGD2e4udIsF6F0Vcc89XFGAHGZQla5cG2B8NctsplIfdW14LLCrc98hx8/s320/IMG_9723.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
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It's hard to be a human. I have things in my life that I believe and know to be profound truths for me. I've tested and proven them to myself time and time again. And yet, even though these truths are known to me, believed by me to be good for me... It happens far too often that I some how look up from where I am in life and realize that I've moved away from those good and true things. Those good and true ways of being that serve me well when I'm in the flow of life and honoring them some how disappear over and over. I'm left to stumble around until I find my way back to them.<br />
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How does that happen? I am a strong and capable woman. I am generally speaking, living my life consciously. And if I'm brutally honest, I struggle to string together consecutive months at a time when I am purposeful, balanced and focused on living my best life. <br />
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I actually do the best when I think of myself as someone else that I am in charge of taking care of, tending to. If I were actually a small child in my care, I would certainly look for meals, set the table, not eat in the car, get enough sleep, go outside to play, have naps, eat a vegetable now and then. So, why don't I do those things now?<br />
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The answer that springs to mind is because I'm exhausted. I'm so busy working, building a new business, taking care of home, husband, family members who need support that I have no time to tend to myself. But surely, one of those profound truths is that if we don't take care of ourselves, we cannot possibly be our best selves with other, for others. <br />
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I want to do better. <br />
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It's hard to be a human. Be gentle with yourselves friends. <br />
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<br />Live Beautiful Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02707270418080104109noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6947058494718534424.post-7136336273342434152016-08-10T18:45:00.001-07:002016-08-10T18:45:44.340-07:00<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSfHDdkQcZ5mG6nSq8yetY_sZ0tpqnmTyOGolN6Xl18KsMfbmTqAPbaC8heCULt5zIL1rvWhp0WZUBR7xHc5Tqgy1N6CuDBLO51WAq9oXH382WAcOfb_uqSAVG3IZ0iixQ_jWU5WOCHmM/s1600/IMG_3344+%25282%2529.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSfHDdkQcZ5mG6nSq8yetY_sZ0tpqnmTyOGolN6Xl18KsMfbmTqAPbaC8heCULt5zIL1rvWhp0WZUBR7xHc5Tqgy1N6CuDBLO51WAq9oXH382WAcOfb_uqSAVG3IZ0iixQ_jWU5WOCHmM/s320/IMG_3344+%25282%2529.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I don’t know if you’re anything like me, but a couple of years
ago I had this thing happen where I felt like I was going through life on auto
pilot. I felt like I was living life a little bit flat lined. I’ve seen <a href="https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability?language=en" target="_blank">Dr. Brene’ Brown</a> talk about how often times we use food or alcohol or drugs to numb our shame
and our pain… and how you can’t numb those things without also numbing
joy. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">That was me. I’d settled into a good job, a good marriage,
empty nest… but after a certain number of years of those things, life was pretty routine. I lacked joy. I longed for something more. I longed for a deeper
connection with myself and with others. Seeking some spark of inspiration
in my life, I stumbled on <a href="http://bravegirlsclub.com/" target="_blank">Brave Girls Club</a>. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #222222; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p></o:p></span><span style="color: #222222; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">For me, from the outside looking in, Brave Girls Club (and Camp
in particular) was all about belonging. And oh how I wanted to
belong. A little research revealed so many women giving <a href="http://bravegirlsclub.com/soul-restoration-testimonials" target="_blank">testimony</a> about
how Brave Girls Camp is life changing. I became a little obsessed with
it. My expectations were pretty high because I’d poured over every blog
that mentioned Camp, every picture and <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfQqCWaHYdc" target="_blank">video</a>. </span></span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: inherit; line-height: 11.65pt;">So, off to camp I went, not sure how 'life changing' it would be for me because I’d already done all my big healing.
Intent on fitting in, I packed my cutest clothes and shoved my anxiety
aside. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">All those anxieties that I've struggled with for years, those persistent thoughts about being a
fraud, of waiting for the other shoe to drop came flooding back while I was at
Camp. When I look back through my Soul Restoration journal, it’s clear that I
still had much ‘big’ work to do. Because I lived so much of my life faking
normal, my ability to feel like I belong and to make genuine connections was
wobbly at best. And there were many destructive old messages still to
unpack:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<i><b style="color: #222222; font-family: inherit; line-height: 11.65pt;">“You never stick with anything.”</b><br /><span style="color: #222222;"><span style="line-height: 15.5333px;"><b><br /></b></span></span><b style="color: #222222; font-family: inherit; line-height: 11.65pt;">“You’re not like them.”</b><br /><span style="color: #222222;"><span style="line-height: 15.5333px;"><b><br /></b></span></span><b style="color: #222222; font-family: inherit; line-height: 11.65pt;">“What makes you think you can do that?”</b></i></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">And unpack them I did. I didn't know when I signed up for Brave Girls Camp that I was really signing up for <a href="http://bravegirlsclub.com/soul-restoration" target="_blank">Soul Restoration</a>. It's an amazing course taught at Camp that is yes, life changing. You don't do it alone, you have a whole Restoration Team at the ready and a circle of women to support your journey.</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih5gyY3eWmyQLZvC_q31VPV97eOkzXJq-q-OoXjuILO3kMKYAbUEcTzKM1e3ArWK-TeJ1cd4S8PSsprr8ek338sszbjTqkPy6VtLSm_vFEtC-UP2ZOFN_ztX8_CIND5RQQ0khs7MWBaTo/s1600/image2.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih5gyY3eWmyQLZvC_q31VPV97eOkzXJq-q-OoXjuILO3kMKYAbUEcTzKM1e3ArWK-TeJ1cd4S8PSsprr8ek338sszbjTqkPy6VtLSm_vFEtC-UP2ZOFN_ztX8_CIND5RQQ0khs7MWBaTo/s320/image2.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">In Soul Restoration, I met my truth teller who dug up some great things for me to remember. Every great adventure I have
had in my life- from working in the movie business, to traveling the world, to
falling in love… all happened because I chose to choose. Somehow despite
all the odds, when push came to shove, I have always summoned the courage to go
after what I wanted in life and not to let life just happen to me. That's why being on 'auto pilot' felt so awful to me. I learned to interact with my 8 and 80 year old selves. My wise old self gently showed me that the person responsible for making
me feel like a fraud, like I don’t belong is in fact… me. She urged me to
get out of my own way and to LET MYSELF BELONG. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">In the years since I attended Soul Restoration, I’ve continued
to work on these themes. Work might not be the right word… I have focused
on allowing myself to be in the flow of belonging. I try to heed the
words of my 80 year old self and go into every situation assuming I will find
my tribe, to look around and wonder which of these women will be my first
friend here. Soul Restoration has reminded me to choose to choose, to do
it anyway, despite any doubts that pop up as doubts tend to do.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">So yes, Brave Girls Club is about belonging, but what I’ve
learned, is that you have to <u>let yourself belong</u>. Melody and Kathy have
lovingly created and held the space, waiting for each woman until the time was
right for her to step into her own… for each to realize they are worthy of love
an belonging right now. Brave Girls Club is not about standing next
to them in the glow- hoping that their shininess will rub off on you.
It’s about standing in your <u>own</u> glow.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Isn’t it about time for you to do that? To stand in your
own glow? It’s time for you to choose to choose. To let yourself
belong. Melody and Kathy have created so many opportunities for Soul
Restoration to be available to you. You can do the course online.
You can do it in weekly formats. You can really be sweet to yourself with
the gift of a retreat experience. There are <a href="http://my.bravegirlsclub.com/certified-instructor-events/" target="_blank">50 certified facilitators allover North America</a> facilitating the Soul Restoration course for women just like
you throughout the year. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<a href="http://my.bravegirlsclub.com/event/soul-restoration-a-beautiful-you-retreat/" target="_blank">retreat</a> in September in Arizona. Why not check it out? Come stand
in your glow. That’s my wish for you.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Live Beautiful Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02707270418080104109noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6947058494718534424.post-75707280756498259542016-04-17T16:13:00.003-07:002016-04-17T16:13:41.799-07:00My Soul House<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #888888; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 23.8px;">Photo credit: ckdhtc on </span><a href="http://www.highaperture.com/photos/h/a/haunted_house.jpg" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #1abc9c; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 23.8px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">High Aperture</a></div>
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When I was in my college years, I kept dream journals, and spent time learning about dreaming, and how to figure out what our dreams mean. What I believe is that our dreams are highly personal and one has to figure out the symbolism for themselves. One can't just open a book, look up water and determine that universally, water means thus and such.</div>
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For years during this time of my life I had re-occurring dreams that featured a house that looked much like the abandoned building above. There was no question in my mind the meaning of the dream. I knew the house was my life. In the dreams, I wanted desperately to fix it up, restore it to its original beauty. I would wander through the rooms running my fingers over wood and chipped paint. I stepped over broken boards that were blocking access to certain parts. My heart ached for this house, this life.</div>
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It is no surprise to me that I had these dreams regularly during this time of my life. I'd been hiding childhood sexual abuse for some 20 years and had not ever disclosed it to anyone before. My life was in shambles but I was the only one who knew it. I had no idea how to go about restoring my life, my self... my soul back to it's original beauty.</div>
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Some years later, I did disclose, got good therapy and healed. I don't believe I've ever seen the house in my dreams again and I kind of forgot about it. A couple of years ago I was blessed to have the chance to go to <a href="http://bravegirlsclub.com/about-brave-girl-camp" target="_blank">Brave Girl Camp</a> where <a href="http://bravegirlsclub.com/meet-the-brave-girl-team" target="_blank">Melody Ross and her sister Kathy Wilkins</a> gently led us through the <a href="http://bravegirlsclub.com/soul-restoration" target="_blank">Soul Restoration</a> curriculum Melody created.</div>
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The first concept we were introduced to was our Soul House. Melody invites us to imagine that when we are born, our soul was put into a beautiful house with each room representing a part of ourselves. Over time, things happen in our lives that make us forget who we are. We are told lies, we are abused, we make mistakes, sometimes we even tell ourselves lies to help us make sense of our lives. The cumulative effect of all this is that our Soul House falls into disrepair. When we live this way for many years, we can feel like there is no hope for us, that we are beyond repair and this is just how our lives will be. </div>
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I sat there at Brave Girl Camp stunned when Melody introduced this analogy. It made complete sense to me given my history, my life and the beautiful but rundown, abandoned house in my dreams all those years ago. </div>
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I've just spent a week in Idaho with the Brave Girls team becoming a certified facilitator of Soul Restoration. In this work we 'close' our Soul Houses for restoration, clarify what are truths and what are lies and how each makes us feel. We identify the lies we have come to believe in our own lives and release them in a powerful ceremony. We make contact with our own Truth teller and get in touch with our authentic selves and gifts and strengths we may have long forgotten about. All of this and more is guided by me as facilitator using the curriculum and artfully designed projects Melody created. </div>
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If you've been feeling like you've lost yourself, forgotten who you are as you move through this busy world, it might be time for you to close for Soul Restoration. Our next <a href="http://www.livebeautifulyou.net/#!faqs/c1n3d" target="_blank">Soul Restoration retreat</a> is scheduled for September 16,17, 18th at the beautiful and historic Kenyon Ranch is Tubac, Arizona. We have a spot for you, Sister.</div>
Live Beautiful Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02707270418080104109noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6947058494718534424.post-16624647256814335662016-02-10T20:27:00.002-08:002016-02-10T20:27:40.251-08:00We've sure got a lot of work to do.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So, today I had got to spend time at a Girl Scout meeting with a mixed age group of girls. In honor of Valentines day, the activity at hand was to write letters to themselves to share some of the things that they liked, loved or appreciated about themselves.<br />
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Many of the girls were struggling. Their troop leaders patiently coached them through it and before long, the girls were standing up and sharing their letters aloud while others listened.<br />
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I watched as a fourth grader stood up and shared her letter to herself. The part that really caught my attention was that she slipped in some of her dreams along with her list of what she liked about herself. A girl after my own heart, I heard her confidently proclaim that she wanted to 'travel the world with her friends'. She capped it off with a saucy "Love, Me." <br />
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And then... she added a PS and my heart stopped. <br />
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"PS... Lose weight".<br />
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I'm just so angry and sad that I don't even know what to do with it. This beautiful child topped of a great love letter full of confidence what that bit of soul killing bullshit.<br />
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Thank goodness that she's in Girl Scouts. Thank goodness that she has a place to go where all bodies are good bodies. Thank goodness that there's a caring adult who will find a quiet time and place to talk with her and help her know that everything about her is a gift to this world. Live Beautiful Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02707270418080104109noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6947058494718534424.post-60157198233638096332015-10-15T20:57:00.000-07:002015-10-15T20:57:27.741-07:00World peace and thin thighs<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Tonight, while sitting out in my yard on a beautiful Tucson evening, I was blessed by a shooting star. </div>
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For years, the dialogue in my head on these occasions has always been that using a wish on myself was selfish and thus, is virtually guaranteed to not be granted. </div>
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I think this notion came from my adolescence when I heard joke about a beauty queen who said if she had one wish it would be for 'world peace and thin thighs... but I don't really care that much about world peace". Even then, as a kid, when I dedicated a lot of energy to hating my body, I knew the meaning behind the joke. So for years, I've wished on every opportunity for world peace. These days, at almost fifty years old, I don't put a whole lot faith stars and wishing. </div>
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The adult me is a big believer in the law of attraction, visioning and positive affirmations/prayers. I believe that when you put your deepest desires out there, and you move in that direction, the Universe, God, whatever name you want to use, sets the whole thing in motion. </div>
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I've used the law of attraction for some of the best adventures of my life. Stacey and I had a wonderful European adventure for my 30th birthday and I worked for several years in the film industry to name just two. </div>
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So, I doubled up tonight when I saw that shooting star with my wish and affirmative prayer. </div>
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World Peace... and so it is.</div>
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You're welcome.</div>
Live Beautiful Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02707270418080104109noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6947058494718534424.post-19052577536941978192015-09-28T21:22:00.000-07:002015-09-28T21:22:04.516-07:00On beauty and strength... a guest post by Natalie Patterson<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Friends- I'm delighted to bring you a post by guest blogger <a href="http://www.natalieispoetry.com/" target="_blank">Natalie Patterson</a>. She's a <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2UbQHvVcBE" target="_blank">poet</a>, an teaching artist and amazing human who teaches me about being a better person whenever I get to spend a bit of time with her. I'm also delighted that she's a facilitator and will be teaching and performing at our <a href="http://www.livebeautifulyou.net/#!faqs/c1n3d" target="_blank">Beautiful You Retreat</a> November 5,6,7th. So, without further delay... here are the words and wisdom of my friend Natalie.</div>
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Timalee</div>
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Ever since I was a little girl, beauty equaled strength to me. Every person I thought was beautiful, was because of an inner power that seemed to pour out of them. It was in their laugh, in their walk, in their ease with speech. I have always been drawn to a great smile, a true smile. Beauty had nothing to do with being perfect and it still doesn't to me. </div>
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I have come to understand that my body, at whatever version of itself it is in now, is a gift. I had a thought when I was around 25, that if I married someone I didn't already know, they wouldn't get the "privilege" of experiencing my 20-something body. At 31, I am still unmarried and I suspect that should I ever marry, they won't have known me, in my 20s and that's ok. They get to know me now. They get to enjoy my wisdom, the grown of my body and the relaxation in my stride, that I didn't have access to, in my younger years, that I am well-acquainted with now. I suppose this is what aging is all about, the gratitude that comes, that fills all the silly holes, you think you have. </div>
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So while my body is ever-evolving, as is my self-love, what I know for sure is that we all have access to beauty, all own it. Sometimes we forget where we put the key to it, or rather that we are the key. Be diligent about finding your way to your own beauty, about defining it for yourself. It is important. You are important. </div>
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Mine and Yours, </div>
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Natalie Patterson </div>
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Live Beautiful Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02707270418080104109noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6947058494718534424.post-43159550329611693802015-09-26T15:18:00.004-07:002015-09-26T15:18:54.145-07:00When our habits that make us smaller than we are...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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There are two times of year that I tend to be especially introspective. Fall is one of them. I think it's the trees shedding parts of themselves that are no longer serving them. There's beauty and balance in it. Letting go of the old, preparing for what's to come. There's a magical beauty in the mish-mash of colors gracefully floating to re-connect to the earth in a different way.</div>
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It occurred to me today, after seeing some stellar modeling from a friend, that sometimes I'm not very good at asking for what I need. It's a tendency, or habit really that makes me smaller than I am. It definitely doesn't serve me. </div>
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I believe in living with intention and purpose. So, therein lies my project for the fall. I'm starting a 30 day challenge to make some progress with asking for what I need and gratefully (and gracefully) accepting the help of others when it's offered.<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></div>
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What are you ready to let go of? What habits make you smaller than you are?</div>
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Live Beautiful Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02707270418080104109noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6947058494718534424.post-19367085439918706012015-09-06T17:10:00.001-07:002015-09-06T17:10:54.270-07:00What's the best thing when you find you've temporarily lost your way?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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We all lose our way from time to time. All of us. Anyone who says they don't has got to be pulling your leg. <br />
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I've found myself in that place of late. I have had my head down being so busy being busy that I looked up and found myself overwhelmed, under appreciated, under rested, eating and drinking more than I need to, not doing any small acts of self-care. Lost. Well, if I'm really being honest... lost and utterly lacking in anything resembling joy or happiness. Imagine my surprise. I certainly know better. But, there it is.<br />
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Thank God for girlfriends. In these times, it's my girlfriends who are my compass. They help me pull out the map of my life (which is never folded correctly), and help me identify which particular eddy it is that has me swirling and where it is that I want to go. <br />
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Good girlfriends will crawl around in the darkness with you, shining a flashlight on the things you didn't want to look at. They'll sit with you during the ugly cry and say "I know." A really good girlfriend will call you on your *ish when you try to get in your head and logic it away. And they'll invite you to come to yoga with them and begin to do a kindness to your mind, body and soul.<br />
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And if you're not ready to have the light shone on something hard to look at. Don't worry. Your girlfriend will be ready with her flashlight another day. You can try again then. She's not going anywhere.<br />
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Baby steps my friends. An extra glass of water one day. A long walk the next. If you move in the direction you need to go, it doesn't matter if it's a baby step at a time. Keep on moving. You won't be lost for long. Your girlfriends will see to that.Live Beautiful Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02707270418080104109noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6947058494718534424.post-66102241699768738942015-08-07T12:48:00.000-07:002015-08-07T12:48:01.657-07:00Everyday the butterflies come<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: orange;">Every day the butterflies come. I'm not sure how long it was happening before I noticed it, but since I started paying attention, it's been at lease 3 weeks. Every day they come. Usually, I encounter an average of five butterflies a day in the course of my day. Big ones, tiny ones, plain ones, colorful ones. </span><br />
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<span style="color: orange;">At first I thought it was a curiosity. Then I thought it was a little freaky. Now I expect them and I giggle when they flitter through my day. </span><br />
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<span style="color: orange;">I love that they come, but I haven't figured out why. I haven't mentioned it to anyone or written about it before now. I thought in time, the reason would become clear to me, but it hasn't. I've always remembered this quote from The Color Purple: <span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><span style="background-color: white; font-size: x-small; line-height: 18.2000007629395px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.2000007629395px;">'I think </span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.2000007629395px;">it pisses God off</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.2000007629395px;"> if you walk by the </span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.2000007629395px;">color purple</span></b><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.2000007629395px;"><b> in a field somewhere and don't notice it.'</b> Maybe it's the same thing. Maybe God just wants me to slow down and notice them.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: orange; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.2000007629395px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: orange; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="line-height: 18.2000007629395px;">When looking for meaning, there's also a lot of symbolism that I could draw from too. Metamorphosis, new life, becoming. Also, the way they dance past me... part joyful and carefree, but also sometimes looking like they're slightly out of control and just trying to stay upright. These too all fit the current circumstances of my life. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: orange; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.2000007629395px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: orange; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18.2000007629395px;">Whatever the reason, that they come, I am grateful and feel blessed that they do. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #545454; line-height: 18.2000007629395px;"><br /></span></span>Live Beautiful Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02707270418080104109noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6947058494718534424.post-88229889629800904282015-07-12T13:24:00.003-07:002015-07-12T13:24:49.201-07:00How beautiful it is when we feel ourselves opening<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Personal growth comes in spurts, doesn't it? </div>
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Sometimes I feel like I'm just humming right along and then a moment happens and I feel myself opening. Opening to acknowledgement of a stumble, opening to awareness, opening to the possibility new and deeper relationships... just opening to possibility. All that came from a 60 minute conversation this morning with someone the Universe unexpectedly put on my path a few months ago. I was inspired by someone I saw speaking beautiful and powerful poetry on the internet. I reached out. She reached back. Now I get to call this amazing woman my friend. Boom. Across the jungles of time and space, our paths crossing in a particularly serendipitous way. </div>
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I'm blessed to learn some lessons from this new friend. Blessed that she can extend a bit of grace to cover my unintended privilege blunder. Blessed that she can help me see that I'm looking at things through a too small lens. Blessed to hear her affirming words about what I'm trying to create. Blessed to hear her say "It's limitless".</div>
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Today, I'm sitting in that possibility. Here, in my big comfie chair, in my pj's... her words ringing in my ears... I'm opening to that true fact. It's limitless... I am limitless. And so it is. And so I let it be.</div>
<br />Live Beautiful Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02707270418080104109noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6947058494718534424.post-8596319408350669932015-06-09T17:43:00.001-07:002015-06-09T17:43:11.796-07:00Are you re-filling your empty bucket with a cup?<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRWIigtSO34GziopZhUFWOBKw_scW9bg746WGkSNaxPv_5z3BBK1A58MB6x3xsc0g_ZgzRIteSmFZ-GT5k6tlCUxA06r1HhbLrOIRYUQ1wf8Fn0zqVHp1diPgnpX7dYkqJOiZEwDKB98c/s1600/IMG_3344.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRWIigtSO34GziopZhUFWOBKw_scW9bg746WGkSNaxPv_5z3BBK1A58MB6x3xsc0g_ZgzRIteSmFZ-GT5k6tlCUxA06r1HhbLrOIRYUQ1wf8Fn0zqVHp1diPgnpX7dYkqJOiZEwDKB98c/s200/IMG_3344.JPG" width="150" /></a></div>
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I've been thinking about this a lot. Women need more places to come together to support one
another. Women need a
safe space to try on new ways of being.
A place to catch a glimpse of what is possible when women hold each other
up. When women bear witness to the lives
of other women, and honor them for what they have been through, survived,
achieved… it gives them permission to fully bear witness to their own lives,
their own stories. Permission to stand
in their truth and be honored in return for their strength, their beauty. <o:p></o:p></div>
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It is typical in
America that women give and give. Women do
for others all day, every day, without stopping to refill their own bucket. We are so busy being busy in our lives. Grab a workout before work. Try and leave work on time to pick up the
kids at day care. Stop at the store for
groceries for dinner. Make dinner. Homework.
Bath time. Bed time. Try and get through some of the emails that
didn’t get addressed at work before hitting the sack ourselves. Sometimes we numb ourselves out with alcohol and
bad TV. We congratulate ourselves when
we slow down and take an hour at a time for ourselves for yoga, or a massage,
or quick workout. When was the last time
you were fully present and engaged at home, at work? We think an hour spent on ourselves is going
to set us right again. For most of us,
it gets us through another day, another week and then we put another cups worth
of water in our empty bucket and do it all again.<o:p></o:p></div>
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When was the last time that you took the time to reflect on
the strength it’s taken to get to where you are in life? When was the last time another person has
said to you “Wow, that’s really something.
You’re an amazing human being”?
Does the idea of spending 3 days checked out of real life, and focusing
on yourself scare the pants off you?
Does it feel selfish? Is it
strange to think about spending $500 on yourself in one fell swoop? Lean in to that discomfort and think about
doing it anyway. <o:p></o:p>Retreats <a href="http://www.livebeautifulyou.net/#!faqs/c1n3d" target="_blank">like this one,</a> are a magical gift to yourself. Aren’t you worth it? </div>
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It's a lot <span style="text-align: center;">easier to refill the bucket by dipping the whole thing into the well. </span></div>
Live Beautiful Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02707270418080104109noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6947058494718534424.post-25036563500645544622015-05-24T11:49:00.000-07:002015-05-24T11:49:58.137-07:00Where are you now?I don't know about you, but for me it comes down to being present. Present, in my skin, in this moment right now. As a child abuse survivor, as a fat kid, as a fat woman... I'm pretty damn good at moving around this world, doing my job, being a family member, a friend- all while completely shut down somewhere inside myself. I'm so good at it, that for about 30 years no one knew the difference.<br />
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The thing is, I know the difference.<br />
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And although I'm grateful for what was a helping coping mechanism for me as a child, I no longer wish live that way. I want to be present for the beautiful moments in life as well as the painful ones. <br />
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Because I was shut down at points of my life when I should have been discovering things like whether my body liked to play softball, or flipping and turning on gymnastics equipment or hiking in the Arizona desert, my auto response was that I don't like those things. When I am a fully present adult I have the choice to try new things, and to decide again whether I like them or not. That's what I want for all our participants at any Beautiful You retreat.<br />
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We designed the Beautiful You Body Love retreat to give participants a chance to practice being fully present in their bodies. If you've experienced disordered eating, body shaming, battled cancer and lost a breast, or any of a myriad of wide ranging experiences that cause us to struggle with our bodies, this retreat may be for you. You'll sit in circle with a group of supportive women and be accepted unconditionally for who you are. You'll have a chance to try body positive activities like yoga for all bodies, and drumming and dancing. You'll be gently guided to identify old messages that may be running the show of your life now. We'll learn and practice new ways to release those messages that are unhelpful to you now. We'll all have a chance to view our bodies through a new lens- the lens of the body love revolution. We'll take a brand new look at ourselves with kinder, gentler eyes and cheer each other all along the way. We'll probably laugh, there might be some tears, we guarantee some cheers... and all of those things are signs that we're fully present and that my friends is the whole point.<br />
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If you would like to learn more please visit www.livebeautifulyou.com<br />
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Live Beautiful Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02707270418080104109noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6947058494718534424.post-49152744601133993772015-01-23T16:49:00.000-08:002015-01-23T16:49:53.352-08:00Dreaming a little dream<br />
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Meme credit- the interwebs</div>
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<span style="text-align: start;">Hmm. Yes, so I 've been dreaming a little dream for a while now and it's it's finally time for it not to be a dream any longer. It seems like there should be a word for the birth of a dream into reality. I don't think there is one, but <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ReGeFJXAtbM">attraversiamo</a> fits pretty well for me. Let's cross over.</span></div>
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<span style="text-align: start;">With the help of numerous amazing women, <a href="http://www.livebeautifulyou.net/">Beautiful You- a place to be, become, belong</a> is ready to launch its first retreat. There will be many wonderful retreats in the coming years to support and lift up women with wide range of themes. We have plans for retreats for women in transition, women fighting cancer, sexual abuse survivors... but the first retreat is May 14-16th and it's a <a href="http://www.livebeautifulyou.net/#!faqs/c1n3d">Body Love retreat.</a></span></div>
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<span style="text-align: start;">All of these Beautiful You retreats will be empowering, inspirational, immersion experiences where women will slow down and discover the power of hearing and witnessing the stories of other women.</span></div>
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The <a href="http://www.livebeautifulyou.net/#!faqs/c1n3d">Body Love retreat</a> is being held at beautiful <a href="http://www.kenyonranch.com/">Kenyon Ranch</a> in Tumacocori, Arizona. It's about an hour south of Tucson. Participants from around the country will settle into their casita's and be welcomed at a happy hour by the pool on Thursday afternoon. We'll experience the magic of sitting in circle and sharing our stories and cap the evening off with a candle light labyrinth walk. On Friday skilled facilitators will lead participants through a series of activities designed to support and help develop some beginning body love tools. We'll also be joined on Friday by the amazing <a href="http://www.themilitantbaker.com/">Jes Baker</a> who will spend the day inspiring and sharing in our activities. Throughout the retreat participants will have the opportunity to create a one of a kind, body love art project to take home. No artistic experience or skills are necessary. We will also have the opportunity to participate in several physical activities (yoga, drumming and dancing) that will help us ground ourselves in our bodies and practice being fully present in ways we might not have before. All of our food will be lovingly prepared onsite by the chef at Kenyon Ranch. Yummy snacks and beverages will be plentiful. All your art supplies will be onsite. We'll even send you home with a few surprises to pack in your suitcase.</div>
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This retreat is a small, intimate experience- 20 participants in total. If you're interested, registration is open now so please reserve your spot. Registrations paid in full when registering receive a $50 voucher/rebate for the 2015 <a href="http://www.bodyloveconference.com/">Body Love Conference</a> in June in Tucson, AZ. Installment payments available.</div>
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Attraversiamo friends... hope to see you in Tumacocori!</div>
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Live Beautiful Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02707270418080104109noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6947058494718534424.post-26121651862947728742015-01-22T20:58:00.000-08:002015-01-22T20:58:07.831-08:00I was a Weight Watchers leader... and I'm sorry.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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A couple of things happened this week that were interesting for me to look at. I ran into an old acquaintance who got me thinking about my past role in the machine that is the weight loss industry. And a medical professional demonstrated some weight bias just when I thought I was going to make it out of my appointment with out it.<br />
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Some years ago I was asked to become a Weight Watchers Leader after having lost 113 pounds on the program. In truth, I lost 113 by learning to love myself and to act like I loved myself by taking care of my body well. I also happened to learn how to eat pretty healthily and enjoyed the company of others who were more than 50 pounds 'over' weight in my special group meeting. It was a place where we could all talk about weight and the challenges of moving through life while fat.<br />
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I think I was a great leader at Weight Watchers. I had members who followed me from meeting to meeting when I occasionally changed locations or times. I prepared meetings on the prescribed topics, I knew my content... but I think the reason I was a great group leader is that I was 1-real (authentic/genuine) and 2- I was really preaching the gospel of body love. My members would beat themselves up at the scale and I cautioned that it's just a number, it's what we tell ourselves about it that is so damaging. I ran into a former member in one of my groups this week...Jenny. I was reminded that she and her husband- both members, were THIS close away from their goal weights on the same week. They were completely bummed. that the scale just wasn't reflecting their efforts. I said 'What can you take off?' We moved the scale to a more private area, and they both dropped their pants and weighed again and they 'achieved' the number they were looking for. The only thing that was different between totally bummed and elation was taking their pants off. <br />
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In hindsight, I'm glad that I was able to be there in a genuine and caring way for so many people trying to navigate and re-navigate what is for the vast majority of people a lose-lose prospect. And at the same time, I'm sorry to have been a part of what is a wild goose chase for most.<br />
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The other thing that happened this week was a visit to a Nurse Practitioner for my annual well woman check. It was an uneventful visit. We didn't talk about my weight at all (I've re- gained all I lost and a bit more). She left the room and I got dressed, thinking to myself 'wow, no weight talk!'. A moment later, there was a knock and she returned with the paperwork to get my blood work done and she laid another pamphlet on the counter and pushed it toward me. She said "you might be interested in this... it really works". What she was pushing toward me was a really tacky looking xeroxed brochure for <a href="http://dietofhope.org/">Dr. Gann's Diet of HOPE</a> (is that not the most ridiculous, emotionally loaded bullshit name of a business?). I must have had a look on my face because she next said "or, I'm on Weight Watchers and I like that as well". I find it really irresponsible for her to have pushed this at me without first asking if I was worried about my weight, if I was actively dieting now, if I had a history of weight cycling, asking what my weight history was or a million other questions she might have used to start an open dialogue. <br />
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If you're an 'over' weight woman in this country it is quite simply assumed that you are unhappy and must be trying or wanting to try and do something about it. As the day went on, I was more and more angry about it. She's doing some research and a referral for me and I'm not going to complain about it until I get that. And THAT makes me angry too... that I can't speak my mind for fear my medical care may be affected.<br />
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Let's keep fighting the good fight friends. And don't forget to love yourself and the body you walk around in.Live Beautiful Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02707270418080104109noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6947058494718534424.post-79303268192642724322014-07-13T12:52:00.000-07:002014-07-13T12:52:13.532-07:00Body love baby steps... a 7 day challenge.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeriXJQvGGd2hYtTW72vWQZMEqjyqXeKYiOiaBTNRa6nf9IU4phZq5kbx31Uzt9L1STgu5oGhc7Xc4wwYJkDg3ESqpKmxv5uIkCGfzgTvzI9PxBcczkXN4lK_HvKOAkJefKlkCB6eM9lo/s1600/Heart.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeriXJQvGGd2hYtTW72vWQZMEqjyqXeKYiOiaBTNRa6nf9IU4phZq5kbx31Uzt9L1STgu5oGhc7Xc4wwYJkDg3ESqpKmxv5uIkCGfzgTvzI9PxBcczkXN4lK_HvKOAkJefKlkCB6eM9lo/s1600/Heart.jpg" /></a></div>
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I was thinking today about how when it comes to body love, body acceptance... sometimes just plain I don't want to hate my body anymore... you have to start where you are. </div>
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For many of us, where we are is that we're not even walking around this planet 'present' in our bodies. That can happen for all kinds of reasons. Whether it's long ago trauma, current day abuse, ordinary stress, or having derogatory comments hurled at you as you walk down the street we have disconnected from our bodies and we're completely numb to our feelings. It seems safer that way. And numbing out begets numbing out. </div>
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I had a total eye opener one time when I was listening to Brene' Brown talk about how we can't just selectively numb our feelings. We don't get to just numb the unpleasant ones. When we numb pain, guess what... we also numb joy.</div>
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I don't want to live in a world without joy in my life. So, I have to start where I am on any given day. That's all any of us can do. The mountains we have to climb usually feel way too big to start anywhere other than where we are in this moment.</div>
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So this week, I'm offering up a 7 day challenge. Let's get purposefully present in our bodies each day this week. You can use the suggestions I'm offering, or come up with ones that fit for you. But what's required is that you spend a few minutes, with intention and focus, paying attention to how your body feels doing something. Below are some suggestions. Please post your own. Bonus points if you post a pic of yourself doing whatever it is you're doing!</div>
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Swing your hips- put on some music that moves you and let it... well, move you.</div>
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Luxuriate in bed naked.</div>
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Go for a skinny dip, or a chunky dunk.</div>
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Fill a bath with something bubbly and have a soak.</div>
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Snuggle down and take a nap.</div>
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Enjoy an orgasm.</div>
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Work up a sweat doing something outdoors.</div>
<br />Live Beautiful Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02707270418080104109noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6947058494718534424.post-29586219077324841522014-05-18T19:39:00.000-07:002014-05-18T19:39:46.377-07:00How important are you?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Years ago when I was losing 100 pounds (and before I found it again) I had a very smart mentor who said that people often asked her how to get motivated. Her reply was that getting 'motivated' isn't what you need to do. What you need to do is get 'important'. That stuck with me over all these years.</div>
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How important are you? I know why you take your kids to soccer. I know why you make a healthy snack when it's your week to be classroom Mom. I know why you work late to finish that project for your boss. You do all that because it's important. Those commitments are important. </div>
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What slides on your list when life gets hairy? I'd be willing to bet it's you. If you are like most women a lot of things on your to do list that feel like they outrank you in terms of importance. If you're finding that you are struggling with being 'motivated' to lose weight, exercise, save money, get organized... whatever it is... ask yourself when you're going to get important. And then listen for the answer.</div>
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This little bit of wisdom has worked for me every time I come back to it. When I get important, I go to bed early once in a while. I make sure that I make a nice salad for dinner more often than not. I make time for a relaxing bath where I soak as long as I want to. When I am not important, I give away everything I have. I give away every bit of energy, every bit of emotion, every bit of nurturing.<br />
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I am important. When I give it all away, I have nothing left to give to myself or to anyone else. <br />
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Join me in a challenge... why don't we work on this?... lets shorten the period of time where we allow ourselves to forget that we're important. No one is perfect, we will forget (I forget all the time!). We will also have periods of time that we have to focus on others at the expense of ourselves... but if we shorten those periods and lengthen the others we're bound to make some headway.<br />
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How will you know when you 'get important'? What looks different? Please share in the comments or on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Beautiful-You-A-place-to-be-become-belong/591039767604979">our facebook page here.</a>Live Beautiful Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02707270418080104109noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6947058494718534424.post-87533294619678862802014-05-17T16:26:00.001-07:002014-05-17T16:26:17.807-07:00Lifting up women and girls... what have you done today?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFSfgwdYimX12acNJqVKVuItB5VOBS1iI7dvs0rRp3R4oyy7l7C3CSGYxu0KoGra7GnFjejfNpieMk36H-p8XbSKm6D0jnkJIV0vdYnK98cL1DEL6yMYFPHU3XugZzf_lysDRkHoHRJhc/s1600/Headshot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFSfgwdYimX12acNJqVKVuItB5VOBS1iI7dvs0rRp3R4oyy7l7C3CSGYxu0KoGra7GnFjejfNpieMk36H-p8XbSKm6D0jnkJIV0vdYnK98cL1DEL6yMYFPHU3XugZzf_lysDRkHoHRJhc/s1600/Headshot.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></div>
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My heart is full today. It's been a wonderful month in which I have been blessed with a larger than ordinary number of opportunities for self renewal. A lovely, unplugged week in Hawaii with my husband was followed by a truly special retreat for women called <a href="http://bravegirlsclub.com/brave-girl-camp">Brave Girls Camp</a>. Today I was able to be in a room full of women leaders in my community to hear <a href="https://www.girlscouts.org/who_we_are/leadership/ceo.asp">Girl Scouts of the USA CEO Anna Maria Chavez</a> speak about the importance of funding and volunteering for organizations like ours that support and advocate for girls. <br />
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When talking with <a href="https://twitter.com/AnnaMariaChavez">Anna Maria</a> today, she shared with me that <a href="http://www.girlscouts.org/research/">the Girl Scout Research Institute</a> has brand new, not yet published research that shows Arizona 49th for girls living in poverty. We can't really afford to wait any longer to do something about it. Following that conversation Anna delivered an inspiring call to action. We must stand together to raise a generation of leaders or we will face an empty leadership pipeline when we need it most. <br />
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I remember a Pete Seeger quote about how lucky we are that the world is so screwed up... because that means it's never been easier to make a real difference in the lives others. It's funny and it's certainly true that it's easy to make a difference in the lives of women and girls. Yes, you can share your time, treasure and talents with great organizations like <a href="http://girlscoutssoaz.org/">Girl Scouts</a>, but it's even easier than that. <br />
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You can begin to lift other women and girls up by such radical actions as shutting down <a href="http://www.operationbeautiful.com/release-form/how-to-become-fat-talk-free/">fat talk</a> when you hear it starting around the office or the locker room. Whenever you hear people commenting on the personal appearance of female political candidates, you can challenge it. When you hear a young girl say she 'can't do it', you can remind her that instead of "can't" it's probably more likely that she just doesn't know how yet. These simple but out of the ordinary actions compounded by those of others raise the boats of all women. We must find ways to make that happen. Girls and women can't wait any longer. Girls in Arizona and girls halfway around the world... they can't wait any longer. <br />
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You get to choose what you will do to help lift up women and girls... but we all need to you choose to choose. Think about it. What can we count on you for? Post in the comments what you commit to do.Live Beautiful Youhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02707270418080104109noreply@blogger.com0