Measuring beauty

The other night at a community event my sweet husband said something that was a compliment, was intended to make me feel good and ended up giving me something to think about as I observed a range of inner emotions for the rest of the evening.

He looked across the crowded room, saw a woman we both know- a woman that is by media standards, a beautiful woman... a woman I consider to be a physically beautiful woman.  After a few minutes of conversation, he glanced back at her, turned to me and said 'overall, you're really more attractive than she is'.

My instinctive, instant reaction was 'Aw, honey... really?  Thank you!'  For a few minutes I was riding a high.  I imagine that all women love to be told their partners think they're beautiful.  Then another thought began to creep in.  'Who is he to measure one woman's beauty against another?'

I spent the evening paying attention to my thoughts.  I wondered how I can gently move my man toward enlightenment about the destructiveness of this kind of thing.  I thought about the part of me that was instantly delighted at first at the suggestion that I might be more attractive than this other glamorous woman who is thin and willowy.  I didn't come up with any answers though.  I just gently observed and kept all my thoughts to myself.

Then, the next day the Universe gave me an even bigger thump on the side of the head to get my attention.  At a gas station, I said to my husband, 'take a look at the cashier... doesn't she remind you of (another woman we know), only prettier?'  Doh!!  Me.  I said that.  And he called me on it.  'Honey!', he exclaimed, shocked.  I hadn't meant anything mean or destructive any more than he had the night before.  But I had to own it.  Who am I to measure one woman's beauty against another?

Now who's looking for enlightenment?