Monday, October 7, 2013

Emotional sideswipe

Do you ever have times when someone says something so unexpectedly upsetting in the course of casual conversation that it feels like you've been sideswiped?  It happened to me this weekend.  In the course of a perfectly lovely day off and I'm still thinking about it a few days later.

I sat there quietly for a moment and the words that wanted to come out of my mouth were all started with 'well you...'  As a sign of progress in my self work,  I didn't reply with a list of character flaws of the other person.  I took a deep breath and said 'When you say something like that, what is it you hope to accomplish?'

When I had determined that there was no hurtful intent in the comment, I turned my thoughts to whether the comments were true and if true, is it something I can live with or something I want to change about myself.  I don't have answers yet, but I'm really proud of myself for not lashing out, not going into shame and not deciding I was a horrible human.  I was able to stand proudly in my magician energy and go inside for the truth.

It's all about progress not perfection people... try to hang on to that thought the next time someone sideswipes you.


  1. Love this as an example of Magician...getting at the facts instead of climbing that ladder of inference...having the courage to hear what the other has to say instead of cowering beneath the story I've made up (what if it isn't true?).

    "Since no one is perfect, it follows that all great deeds have been accomplished out of imperfection. Yet they were accomplished, somehow, all the same." ~Lois McMaster Bujold